I have flown with a child under 5 eleven times. I have sat next to parents flying with a child under 5 probably thirty more. I know exactly what works and what doesn't, and I'm going to tell you all of it — including the things the airlines don't mention and the parenting forums get wrong.
Book the Bassinet Seat Immediately
If your child is under 2 and flying as a lap infant, you are entitled to use a bassinet (sometimes called a sky cot or Moses basket) on most longhaul flights. These are located at the bulkhead rows and can only accommodate babies up to approximately 11kg. The critical thing to know: bassinets cannot be booked through the standard seat selection system on most airlines. You must call the airline directly and request one.
Bassinets are first-come, first-served, and on popular family routes (anything to Florida, the Canaries, or popular Mediterranean destinations in summer) they go quickly. Call within 24 hours of booking your flight. If you've already booked and it's been a week, call anyway — it's worth asking. Having a bassinet for a long night flight with an infant is the difference between a manageable journey and a deeply unpleasant one.
The Bag: What to Actually Pack
Every parent packs too much for the flight itself. Here is what you actually need in your carry-on for a child aged 1–4: two full changes of clothes for the child (in a sealed bag so clean clothes stay clean), one change of top for you, nappies plus four spares over what you think you need, wipes in excess, a handful of familiar snacks from home, and one or two beloved comfort objects.
The toys section: resist the urge to buy new things. Familiar toys are more comforting and more engaging than shiny new ones. A small backpack that the child 'packs themselves' with their favourite things gives them ownership over the journey. Sticker books are the most reliable entertainment tool for ages 2–5 — cheap, lightweight, endlessly absorbing, and don't require charging. Download CBeebies or Netflix Kids offline before you leave the house.
Ear Pain During Descent
This is the thing most parents discover for the first time at 2,000 feet on final approach, when their child is suddenly screaming inconsolably. Ear barotrauma — pain caused by the pressure change during descent — is extremely common in young children because their Eustachian tubes are narrower than adults'. The solution: give the child something to swallow during descent. Breastfeeding, a bottle, a sippy cup of water, or a dummy will all equalise the pressure. Start 20 minutes before landing.
When Things Go Wrong
Children have meltdowns on planes. It happens to every parent, even experienced ones. The best strategy is not to try to stop the meltdown — you can't — but to get ahead of it. Watch for the signs (the slightly glassy eyes, the rubbing of ears, the sudden refusal of a snack they normally love) and act immediately: pick them up, walk to the back galley, ask the crew for some warm water, change their nappy even if it doesn't need changing. Movement and distraction work better than reasoning.
One final note: the other passengers. The vast majority of people on a plane are sympathetic to parents of young children — they were all young once and most have children or grandchildren of their own. Bring a small bag of individually wrapped sweets to offer neighbouring passengers before departure with a brief 'we're doing our best' smile. It costs nothing and it transforms the social dynamic of the whole cabin.
